“There’s too much I need to get done”, “I won’t really be present”, “I need more time”, are some things individuals will think and possibly say when “too much” stays “too much”. It’s not an uncommon experience that when stress seems to be more present, most people tend to keep focus on those things that still need to be done, a never ending list of to-dos that seem to feed on itself and grow uncontrollably.
When the never-ending list seems absolutely never ending, when it seems that having “that time” you daydream about is too far in the distance, one strategy that may be helpful is focusing on what you are proud about accomplishing. Most of us will keep focus on those tasks we move from day to day, challenged to get to, not having the right resources, time, or circumstances, and yet, this may create some guilt, shame, or disappointment. These feelings can then influence the pressure experienced to “get it done”. Some of us will feel worse, some of us will detach, some of us with minimize, etc. There are a variety of ways we deal with this. When we see these same items on the list, what does this do? Again, for some, it may be reinforcing of what’s not getting done. We struggle to escape it, we may dread it, we may even begin to resent it, whatever it is. The point is, we feel stress.
Rather than beginning or ending the day with this dreadful pressure, it may be less stressful to begin with a sense of pride. Listing your accomplishments may help do that. For example, did you get to your doctor’s appointments, organize a carpool, bake for your kid’s school, remembered a birthday? Were you able to clean out a drawer, closet or a stack of papers? Listing your accomplishments provides a reminder of what you can do and what resources you have.
Another way to use this is to think of a trait you would like to possess more of. For example, do you want to be nicer to people? Then list all the time you were nicer to yesterday or last week. This will give you something to build on. These are only couple ways to implement the notion of accomplishments, yet we do more than we give ourselves credit for. Starting to acknowledge that may help in reducing, managing, or preventing some stress.
Here’s to your success in managing your stress!
(Please note this is a modified excerpt from an upcoming book on stress management strategies)
Serena Wadhwa, Psy.D., LCPC, CADC
www.triqualiving.com
