What’s your pattern?
Posted on Friday, September 2nd, 2011 at 10:04 am.
Posted by CHICKAGO
In the last blog, I explored how our thoughts influence what we may feel and what we do. When it comes to the experience of stress, there are certain types of thoughts or patterns that may influence the intensity of the “stress” experience. For example, when driving to work, I realize that I am going to be late due to traffic. I start to think how I don’t like being late, how my boss may think I’m slacking, etc. I call work to let them know that traffic is bad and I will get to work shortly. The receptionist says okay and then let’s me know that the CEO is there, as I had a presentation on the budget to give. Immediately, I remember that I left the presentation on the kitchen counter and thoughts that relate to “I should have remembered that!” “How can I forget those papers?” “I’m such an idiot!” “This always happens to me!” start to race in my mind. (Or other variations of these thoughts.)These “automatic thought” patterns then influence what I feel. As mentioned, these thoughts continue to play in our minds and influence much of what we do and don’t do. But when we have a high amount of negative thoughts, and particular thoughts that increase our “stress” levels, it’s no wonder we may feel a variety of emotions and perhaps, negative emotions in this case. Thus, these thought “patterns” limit what we “see” and contribute to “tunnel vision”. We have a difficult time seeing outside our box.
When we already have demands placed on us that we are trying to meet and we are viewing these demands through the “lens” of one of these patterns, it’s possible that the level of pressure, tension, threat, or fear may increase. What are your patterns? Here is
a list of some of the common ones, derived from cognitive psychology:
1. “Absolute” thoughts. This may also be known as “All or nothing”, “Black and white” thoughts. These thoughts do not allow for any shade of gray. There’s no room for flexibility.
2. Overgeneralizing. In the above case, this may be demonstrated as “I’m always late, I’m going to get fired.” (Even though this is the first time).
3. Discounting the positive. In times of stress, some individuals don’t “see” anything positive. Thus, there is this endless negative stream of things.
4. Mental filtering. This occurs when any positive thing is whittled out of the picture so that all that can be focused on is the negative.
5. Mind reading. Assuming what others are thinking, what their intentions may be about what they do, say or react around you. (I know my boss is going to fire me.)
6. Catastrophizing. This is basically “What-iffing” situations, making mountains out of molehills. (What if my boss fires me? What if he demotes me?) Of these six listed, what patterns do you see that influence your stress levels?
List them here:
1.
2.
3.
For this month, take a look at how these patterns play out. Use your relaxation techniques if things get overwhelmed. Next time, we’ll explore a couple ways to manage these patterns.
As always (and I do say always), if you in a state of crisis, please call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room.
Here’s to your success in managing your stress!
Serena Wadhwa Psy.D., LCPC, CADC
www.triqualiving.com
